pain is my middle name ...

... lately anyway. i finally decided to do something about my constantly increasing ankle pain last month since it apparently was not going to heal on its own. i've been trying to ignore it for over a year now. so several doctors appointments, xrays, an MRI, a diagnosis of "mildly accelerated arthritis", serious tendinitis, a coalition (birth defect in wich my ankle joint is fused together with cartilage), a script for physical therapy, a funky ankle brace, mention of surgery and steroid shots under xray, and a suggestion of seeing a rheumatologist later ... here i sit. excuse me but i thought i was only 31 years old. at which point did i reach the status of "old woman falling apart"???? well the brace being on one side and not the other caused me to walk differently which threw my pelvis out of alignment once again (has a habit of doing that) causing me to have severe hip and sciatic pain for the past four days. so yesterday i went to physical therapy for my ankles during which they decided i need a brace for the other ankle as well and then headed to gainesville to my chiropractor to realign my pelvis for me. seems i now also have a severely flared up muscle in my hip area due to the misalignment of my pelvis. what the hell!?!?!?!?! oh yeah ... and the funky blood rash that i don't think i've blogged about yet (or have i?) is still alive and well and popping up just about every day. an MD and a hematologist and oncologist have all looked at me like i have the plaque, have done a ton of tests (lupus, rheumatoid arthritis, lukemia, and various other autoimmune diseases and genetic testing) and have come up with nothing. they tell me they've never seen anything like it yet my labs say i'm perfectly healthy. hah! ha ha! is this a joke? again i say ... what the hell!?!?!!? what the hell is wrong with me????? i'm tired of funky rashes and i'm tired of being in pain all the time. i know it can't be good to take this much ibuprofen on a daily basis. it doesn't even take all the pain away anyhow ... it just dulls it a little bit. ridiculous ... absolutely ridiculous. why am i such a mess??? and how in the heck am i supposed to lose this extra weight if i'm in so much pain that i can't stand to excercise? my orthopedic surgeon said to swim ... splendid ... i'll just tell brett we need to put in a pool. yeah right.

okay ... just needed to vent. i'll go back to sitting at work trying to concentrate on designing a storm water system while my hip and ankles continue to throb and burn with pain. thanks for listening.

oh yeah ... and then there's the tooth. so tomorrow i go to physical therapy and the dentist and am taking brody to the doctor for the bronchitis he's been fighting for months now that refuses to go away. exactly how am i supposed to fit enough work hours in to cover all my medical expenses i haven't quite figured out yet. looks like i may be working weekends for a while. good grief! at least i have a job that pays well and allows me to work on my own time. i've never been so thankful of my engineering degree as i am right now.