School Update

So I got my postbac application and fee sent in today. I checked with the mathematics grad advisor and he said it's not too late to apply for fall and that he would be happy to admit me to the math department to do some postbac work. So it seems, unless i'm really confused somewhere, that the application process is mostly a formality. I even had to put his name on my application and so it seems he will be the one making the decision. The postbac app even says something about the decision to readmit being up to the department in which you plan to study.

Right now i'm trying to take things one step at a time. I'll take two classes in the fall and see how it goes. Having to do some postbac work is actually a blessing, now that i'm seeing things clearly. This will give me a good taste of what things will be like without having fully committed to anything. Maybe i'll sail right through that advanced calculus and wow them so much that they want to let me into the grad program at UF. :) Maybe i'll end up saying "what the heck was i thinking?" and give up on the idea all together. Only time will tell.

There's also an up side to UNF versus UF. That would be that I only have to take three postbac classes instead of five and that one of the classes I would not have to take is Advanced Calculus 2. Now I love calculus as much as the next person crazy enough to want to get a masters in math but college calculus classes and I didn't always get along so well. (that could have something to do with the fact that I was only 18 and free from parental control for the first time ... i'm hoping things are different at 31) Now after Calc 1, 2 and 3 I really got the hang of it and did really well in differential equations (that comes after the Calc series). There's just something about jumping right in after seven years with a bunch of "kids" that just finished the Calc 1, 2 and 3 series that is scaring the pants right off me. I don't doubt my brain for a second. I don't even doubt that it will all come back to me. I've done enough calculus tutoring over the past few years to know how well it actually does come right back. What I do doubt is my self-discipline. Will I be able to tell the boys that I can't play with them right now or read to them right now because I have to study? That's going to be tough. A good friend pointed something out to me that is helping me with that issue though. He pointed out how young the boys are and that by the time they are old enough to go do the really fun stuff that I will be done with school. I've thought about that a lot tonight and he's right. I'll remember these times but the boys won't. They probably won't ever remember mama being in school.

I'm really lucky to have all the support behind me that I do. Brett is all for it and i've gotten so many words of encouragement and support from my friends and Brett's family. I really appreciate it too. Sometimes I get stuck in this stay-at-home mom world i'm living in far away from my closest friends and I forget that I really do have a lot of support out there. I know you all will straighten me out each time I start to doubt myself. You all rock and I love you for it. :) Everybody clear your schedules for May of 2010 because we're gonna have a rockin' party when/if I actually finish that masters degree and I want you all here to help me celebrate. ;)